It's common well outside the tech sector. My (black) ex frequently complains how white people try to speak on black peoples behalf about what should offend her, for example.

To the point that she more than once have been in rage over white people accusing her (to her face) of being offensive to black people for saying something that they just assumed black people in general should find offensive.

She's also part of the diversity board of a major bank, where she sits on a panel that is mostly old white men talking about what issues affects their minorities and women, without a hint of recognition from any of them of the irony in that they've not recruited more minority representatives and women from their staff to be on the board itself.

It "could be" but it just isn't. The reality of the situation is that minorities are being silenced or told they have "internalized racism" and whenever these actual minorities speak out on the "issue", non-minorities tell them that they're not sympathizing with minorities that it "could" effect. It's always a "could", because "could be's" don't need to exist in reality.

Of course, if any of these people fighting on "behalf" of minorities actually had minority friends this would become self evident. The coddling and speaking on behalf of the minority is almost always more offensive to the minority then whatever non-problem the non-minority is tripping over.

Imagine how a woman would feel if she was told by a man to be more sympathetic towards other women on some specific issue, because clearly the man is better able to empathize with a women's problem than the woman herself who is trying to tell the man that it isn't actually an issue and that he's making a mountain out of a mole hill. He insists in his correctness and declares that she has internalized misogyny and that he is better qualified to speak on behalf of women than she is. Swap out "woman" with "person of color" and "man" with "white person" and it has a different result?

If you fail to see how that situation is offensive then I think you're the one with the empathy issue, because you aren't actually seeing from their point of view but how you imagine their point of view to be. I'd be bloody fucking pissed if a cis person tried to educate me on issues surrounding and within the LGBT community or told me I should be offended over something (eg: being called trans, something I call myself for fuck's sake) - and of course that's happened multiple times in the past.