-When in a social situation, other than silence, ...
I need help with this too. My approach currently has been to spot moments when I can ask questions that wouldn't be dumb. This works but not for long. Also, since moments of such questions may be infrequent, I find myself in purely listening mode often.
One observation though. I find it a lot easier to handle this one in small groups (2-3 people including myself). Big groups like 5-20 people and I am usually just silent. Since I share many of these concerns, I wonder if it is this observation applies to other smart people too.
-When some one brings up something sad or bad
A "sorry to hear that" followed by a question of the sort "how did this happen?" helps. This shows your genuine concern, shifts the conversation to them, gives them a listener and thus comfort. Issue happens when you encounter someone who's always in such bad mood.
-...curious as to why they have a certain line of reasoning.
This is hard indeed. I start by saying, "Hmmm, never thought of it that way. My understanding on this so far was this and that ..." This takes the conversation along without offending them, though generally does not lead to consensus. Worst is when their line of reasoning is full of logical errors and inconsistencies, in which case you just don't bother.
I have also tried, "Another possible line of reasoning is ...". Doesn't generally work.
-hallway, how close should a person
When far, I just wave "showing no intent of a conversation or expectation of an answer". Then, if and when close enough to the person, utter a few words.
-Is there a method/statement for suggesting an attempt at becoming friends with some one?
More often than you may realize, the issue is that the other party is also in the same situation as you. By starting the conversation first, no matter what you say, you can get the conversation going.
Yet, I find this hard with some specific people who start the conversation (good), but by asking the question that you have no answer to. (E.g.: "Don't you take your wife around?". Neither of the answers "I do!" and "No I don't" works well.)
I need help with this too. My approach currently has been to spot moments when I can ask questions that wouldn't be dumb. This works but not for long. Also, since moments of such questions may be infrequent, I find myself in purely listening mode often.
One observation though. I find it a lot easier to handle this one in small groups (2-3 people including myself). Big groups like 5-20 people and I am usually just silent. Since I share many of these concerns, I wonder if it is this observation applies to other smart people too.
-When some one brings up something sad or bad
A "sorry to hear that" followed by a question of the sort "how did this happen?" helps. This shows your genuine concern, shifts the conversation to them, gives them a listener and thus comfort. Issue happens when you encounter someone who's always in such bad mood.
-...curious as to why they have a certain line of reasoning.
This is hard indeed. I start by saying, "Hmmm, never thought of it that way. My understanding on this so far was this and that ..." This takes the conversation along without offending them, though generally does not lead to consensus. Worst is when their line of reasoning is full of logical errors and inconsistencies, in which case you just don't bother.
I have also tried, "Another possible line of reasoning is ...". Doesn't generally work.
-hallway, how close should a person
When far, I just wave "showing no intent of a conversation or expectation of an answer". Then, if and when close enough to the person, utter a few words.
-Is there a method/statement for suggesting an attempt at becoming friends with some one?
More often than you may realize, the issue is that the other party is also in the same situation as you. By starting the conversation first, no matter what you say, you can get the conversation going.
Yet, I find this hard with some specific people who start the conversation (good), but by asking the question that you have no answer to. (E.g.: "Don't you take your wife around?". Neither of the answers "I do!" and "No I don't" works well.)