Went to school on the East coast, always dreamed of California life; was introduced to SF when a bunch of college friends got into tech; I followed suit

For me and many tech yuppies in SF, life revolves around work; Friday nights and Saturdays are for brunch and letting loose; Sundays are for the Sunday scaries, dreading the next day

SF was my first love: the water, the people, the energy, even the weather; over the years, it's become a shell of its old self. Crime, poop have all gone up. Government is completely incompetent. Never thought I would move out, but I have recently

Still a great place to start a career in tech because of the high-density of smart people. But also a weird place to be because some of your friends cash out big time with 7-8+ figures (https://topstartups.io/startup-salary-equity-database/); others toil away on the corporate ladder. It's a stark reminder of how people's lives can diverge depending on where they work

I try not to compare myself to others, but it's sort of impossible when you're living within a few miles of everyone

In case it could be helpful to have an impression from someone new to SF - just moved here six days ago (to kickoff a personal sabbatical & hobby software project).

Unique experiences so far:

* Cappuccino with goat milk in SOMA.

* AirBnB without host on-premises and tenants have to supply their own tp.

* Strangers patiently wait for you to finish your entire thought before responding.

* Walking the outskirts of Tenderloin as a warzone of filth and garbage then going into a majestic co-working space; the contrast was surreal.

* Decision paralysis - there are SO MANY places to eat that it's been anxiety-inducing to adhoc search for anything on map app.

* Unexpected things have useful apps; riding public transportation downloaded three apps (Caltrain, MUNI, Clipper), using laundromat, sampling various co-working spaces.

* Co-living and social clubs - if finances can be justified, there are surprisingly numerous communities to get immediately plugged into for anyone solo.

Still too early to form an educated opinion, but already disagree with the op-eds that SF lost its charm for tech / startup folks. Compared to what I've experienced across Northeast, Miami, Detroit, and Seattle, I notice that SF simply has so much abundance for things I was seeking as a solopreneur - coffee shops, co-working spaces, people working on personal laptops in middle of day, local discord servers, public tech calendars, and a fall-back safety-net to rejoin employment.

Good luck on your documentary!

I've been in the Bay Area for the past decade, mostly working for health tech startups. It's a weird world that I'm ready to fully divorce myself from.

There's a lot of arrogance, much of it unjustified. I've seen a lot of corruption or incompetence (sometimes it's hard to tell the difference). There are grand visions that get pitched that are so out of touch -- I can't tell if we need "forward thinkers" to be dreaming of moon shots, or if they're just full on delusional. There can be a lot of backstabbing and politics within organizations. Sure, that all happens outside of SV too, but I've never experienced it quite on this scale.

That said, the Bay Area also attracts a specific type of person that can be really amazing to work with. People who are smart, want to change the world, and unbounded in how they approach problems. I've found periods of my time here to be really amazing-- working with smart and driven people, going to meetups to hear from developers building the packages that I use, and enjoying the culture scene in SF. Often, I've found that golden period to last for 6-18 months before the startup has layoffs, or a new "commercialization" officer comes in and makes things horrible, or we hire one too many Stanford MBAs.

So, for me, it's been an exhausting boom-bust cycle of working on amazing things, followed by the company growing toxic, then I leave and a few years later that company implodes in scandal. If you do that cycle enough times, you meet a core group of people that you can just follow around to different companies.

In the background, though, it's really difficult to afford to buy a house. Dating has been brutal because it feels like everyone is trying to "date up". Homelessness and other social justice issues pervade the Bay Area and seem to only be getting worse. Fire season is approaching 6 months long.

I love it here but, personally, I think I'm ready to switch back to being a tourist instead of a local.

I have only heard stories of the dating scene anecdotally, since I moved here with a partner. But it sounds like there is a weird dynamic where there is a large gender imbalance but women still feel like there aren't any acceptable options for them. It's a paralysis by choice type of thing.

Dating is brutal for guys. I lefts after 4 years of being single and found myself in a relationship within a month.

I moved from the Bay area to NYC and met my now wife after less than a month. I wish I stayed in the Bay area back then (circa 2010) .. I likely would have hit gold at least once by now. Yet ... the toil continues.

I think best balance is living elsewhere but having good ties to the bay area. I work remotely for a bay area company and love it when i visit there (10-15 times a year).

I'm realizing I should have prompted comments about how remote dynamics have impacted life out here.

Any observations or takes on how the pandemic and remote culture have changed relationships and culture are welcome!

I moved to SF 5 years ago from Canada. I worked at a small startup that got acquired and now at a pre-IPO company of about 1500. I had worked in a small city in Canada previously. I moved in my mid-30's which is later than a lot of people but I had always wanted to move and work here when I was younger but didn't due to low self-esteem and thinking I wasn't good enough as a software engineer to "make it here". It's the biggest regret of my career that I didn't move here when I was young. I ended up finally moving because I realized I was in a "now or never" situation as I could see the window closing due to being married and my wife wanting to pursue her career options.

I really like the ambition here as it fits me. I strive to the best I can and I find a lot more of that here than back home. Maybe I've been lucky but I've generally worked with kind people so far. I haven't seen anything that would be featured on an episode of "Silicon Valley". Maybe it's because I moved here later and have a better eye for avoiding that type of stuff, I don't know.

I've had a chance to work on a couple great projects and all-in-all, it's been a great experience for me so far. I'll probably be here another 5 years or so before moving back to Canada.

I've moved to San Francisco from Europe, I've been hired by a startup before graduating from school and now it's pretty much always the same work routine.

I personally see my life here in San Francisco as a work/career/money sacrifice that I hope will pay of later.

Other than that I don't feel personally connected to the area and feel like most people I know of have the same mindset. (Mostly also expats from Europe)

Yo. It’s chill. Moved up here from Southern California. I thought people were grinding but they are mostly chilling w/ their cushy office job. Pockets of innovation and fun but otherwise a lot of people working on the same thing.

currently I'm living in Portland, so why am I replying to this thread? I spend every other week in SF to work in person at a Series A startup. I am able to do this after a few years of establishing a significant professional background while being 100% remote.

I love the bay area, and I see significant benefits to working with people face to face. That said I can't see myself ever moving my home back. I really don't know how I'd give a satisfying life to my kids or I'd feel anything but poor when I was looking for housing I could afford.

> Responses in writing (comments and DMs) and conversation (over video or in person) are equally appreciated!

Be aware that there is no "DM" system on HN, so if you want people to contact you off-site, you'll need to edit your profile to include that information. Roughly the same thing about a calendly link if you want people to schedule time

Good luck with your project!

Ah, the inexperience is showing!

Thank you for the note. I've updated my profile with contact info for anyone who'd like to reach out.

Honestly I like the energy here. Just have to distance myself from a bit from people on sociopathic spectrum. I did 'lucked out' and joined a company that IPO'd, but honestly probably didn't make it much more than other people who started companies outside of the bay area. Also the access to nature has been amazing for me and my mental health.

- Studied in UK, came to US for a major and landed a job in finance then data science.

- Mostly hanging out with fiends from work (or previous work). Not much of a 'normal' social scene except around events.

- Just love the idea of living and breathing hard and meaningful problems. Bay area has interesting stuff going on all the time.

- I thought SF would be a beautiful, clean city. It's really is a dirty place. Oh well, I put up with it. - Dating sucked. Met my wife here in the city outside of dating context (long story).

- Feeling like the industry is losing momentum. Less inspiring, more grinding. We should focus on hard problems, but a ton of money is spent on stupid get rich schemes. Software is making the world a worse place?

I've been here just over a decade at this point, I come from Michigan originally. I specialize in iOS, but have had a long string of startup jobs so I can mix it up and get things done in a handful of languages.

getting here -- I got lucky honestly: had one friend who lived here when I was finishing school, who let me crash on his couch and introduced me to some friends of his during that week. I interviewed with a bunch of companies trying as a remote intern with the option to become full time later and one of them was kind enough to give me a shot. I swapped jobs every few years, picking up a broad set of skills on a variety of front and backends that are really useful and sort of rare. I've been at my current job for about 4 years -- my first larger company, which went public during my tenure and has been very good to me.

social dynamics -- I'm on the edge of a few friend groups, wouldn't call myself core to any of them but I have plenty of friends. Getting married to a woman I met here in SF 5 or 6 years ago, she also moved here for tech.

personal connection -- I've tried to not work on anything where I feel like people are actively being exploited. I also try to chase jobs that I think are good for the world, which is a real luxury imo. I also really like programming cuz it exercises the creative and logical parts of my brain.

perceptions -- I was dumb enough to think all of California was like LA, big wake up moment when I realized it's not usually all that warm here. I think it certainly has problems, especially in the last few years the city has gotten excessively dirty and there's so many (more) people that could use a helping hand. There's also a decent size of the population who hate techies, sometimes for valid reasons and that's rough from time to time. I don't know what to do about it, I just try not to be actively part of the problem and help where I can.

unique experiences -- too many haha. Giant burning man parties in warehouses, people pooping standing up in mid afternoon, lifting a car off a lady one time with a crowd of folks, so many great meals. you can find whatever you want in SF, it's a really great city.

industry at large -- I honestly don't know. Some things change, but others jsut seem cyclical. Folks have been wondering when the bubble will pop for the Whole time I've lived here. When I got here Kevin Rose was the meme, now it's Elon Musk. I don't understand how our housing prices can continue to go up and still make a city that's livable for more than just folks making six figure salaries. I don't think tech's going away ever, but I don't know if the world can tolerate things as they are now either.