Not to worry mf.... The problem isn't that French Cafe's are dying. The problem is that the New York Times is dying. They just don't like to talk about that subject in first person singular. Replace "French Cafe" with NYT and you are starting to understand what the article is really about.
Well, I'm pretty sure the article is about the death of cafes in France. But in any case, the much-predicted death of the NYT isn't something I'm looking forward too, either.
If someday I find myself retired but without any French cafés to visit, it'll be like the end of a Twilight Zone episode.
This is an emergency! I need to go to France and bail out the croissant economy!